Donald & Keshîa Rubie
My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary yesterday!!! A year ago we had the most intimate wedding ceremony and reception at Hotel Four Seasons in Kingston, Jamaica. We shared our special moment with very close family and friends. It was a simply elegant affair that I’m sure we’ll treasure for the rest of our lives and I can truly say I’d do it all again, including keeping the hubby!!!! LoL!!!
All fun and joke aside, what is it about vow renewals that get me all mushy? Well for starters, I’ve always said doing it twice means it was special the first time and marrying that guy/gal twice is an opportunity to pen another chapter of your lives together. We live in a world where the divorce rate is as high as the crime rates, people have forgotten how t love – so when a couple gets to a milestone in their marriage I do believe it is time for a celebration!!!
But there are a lot of other reasons couples choose to do it all again:
- A couple may have stood before a civil servant and tied the knot, no friends, no relatives just them both and 2 people they didn’t even know, a vow renewal gives them the opportunity to do it right the second time around
- A do-over, yep. Sadly this happens their first wedding was a complete disaster and they just want an opportunity to bask in the bliss of having the wedding of their dreams
- A couple may have been low on resources when they wedded originally and now that they have the resources they believe it is important to include those special people who didn’t get to witness their union first hand
- A couple may have had some rocky times in your relationship, and would now like to reaffirm their commitment to one another – this is my fave reason for doing vow renewals, it says to me that they took their vows of for better or for worse pretty darn serious!!!
- And lastly many couples simply think it’s romantic… Awww the bliss
Choosing to renew ones vows is a truly fabulous way to show the growth of your love but people also decide to renew for some pretty unusual reasons:
- The woman misses the time she spent planning her wedding and just decides to plan a vow renewal party to appease herself, not good at all. The focus of any wedding, but especially a vow renewal, should be the promises you are making to each other, and the sanctity of the marriage, not the party.
If you are planning on renewing your vows the good news is, there are far less rules and dos and don’ts about vow renewal. It can be as simple as the two of you alone in a beautiful spot reciting vows you have written, or a fancy affair with many guests. Just as with any wedding planning, you should begin by figuring out what style of ceremony/reception you’d like, deciding a budget, picking a date and finding a venue. Vow renewals are generally cheaper than first weddings, and with less rules on what “should” be done, so you can really concentrate on the elements that are important to you.
The size and elaborateness of your vow renewal depends squarely on your reason for wanting a vow renewal ceremony. Many people chose to renew their vows because they were so caught up in the planning and the partying of their first wedding, they felt the focus of the day was taken off of the ceremony. Therefore, most vow renewals tend to be intimate celebrations, with only close family and friends present, and a lunch afterwards at a nice restaurant. Others who didn’t have much money for their first wedding have very lavish ceremonies and parties afterwards.
If you choose to have a big and expensive celebration, there are still a few things you should avoid:
- Don’t have attendants. If you have children, you can give them a special role in the ceremony, but there is no need to designate them as bridesmaids or groomsmen. You may wish to invite your original bridal party and recognize them during the ceremony.
- Don’t register for gifts. This is not the time to upgrade the china. Wedding gifts are to help a newly married couple set up their household together.
- Don’t throw bachelor or bachelorette parties. This is an obvious one – you aren’t bachelors or bachelorettes!
Now that we’ve cleared all that, who officiates? Since presumably you have already done the legal marriage, this ceremony will not be legally binding. Therefore, you can ask a judge or clergy member to officiate, but you can also ask a friend or an adult child to lead the ceremony. For a simple vow renewal, you don’t necessarily need an officiant at all. Since presumably you have already done the legal marriage, this ceremony will not be legally binding.
You’ll probably want to say something a little different from first-time brides and grooms would. Many people write their own vows, some may need some inspiration. There are many places on the world-wide web you can look to find something that either suites your need or starts the inspiration flow. I like here.
Have a wonderful time planning your “Second Time Around”
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The Engagement 